Virus Alert
If you receive an e-mail message with "End-All Virus" in the
Subject line, don't open it.  If you do:  End-All will
re-write your hard drive.  Not only that, it will scramble
any disks that are even close to your computer.  It will
recalibrate your refrigerators coolness setting so all your
ice cream goes melty.  It will demagnetize the strips on all
your credit cards, screw up the tracking on your television
and use subspace field harmonics to scratch any CDs you try
to play.

It will give your ex-girlfriend your new phone number.  It
will mix Kool-aid into your fishtank.  It will leave dirty
socks on the coffee table when company comes over.  It will
put a dead kitten in the back pocket of your good suit pants
and hide your car keys when you are late for work.
It moves your car randomly around parking lots so you can't
find it.  It will kick your dog.  It is insidious and
subtle. It is dangerous and terrifying to behold.  It is
also a rather interesting shade of mauve.

End-All will give you Dutch Elm disease.  It will leave the
toilet seat up.  And it will leave bacon cooking on the
stove while it goes out to chase gradeschoolers with your
new snowblower.